Typical topics that engaged couples need to settle and provide a valid answer before getting married.
Being single is such a miserable situation for some, especially for a lot of women. The feeling of watching a movie alone, waiting for someone to ask you if you had your meal (knowing that there’s really none) or seeing others dating during Valentine’s Day; they are all heart-breaking. However, I am pretty much sure that many couples would also agree that having a commitment has its own fair share of difficulties. It happens mainly to people who are technically not ready to enter into a relationship. We are not talking about just an intimate relationship between two people, more so a marriage, because it is more complicated if you suddenly felt unprepared after years of being together as a married couple.
We have listed some of the most important questions and topics, you and your “spouse-to-be,” need to sit down and talk about. Make sure you settle every facet of the topic and agreed on the best possible response to every situation. Here is the list:
- How are we going to deal with a major change that may happen in the future which can affect us? It might be a sudden loss of a job or a demand to your partner’s job that would require you both to move to a different place. Be sure that you both can agree to sacrifice for each other.
- Do we (or our families) have issues with beliefs and religion? This is very important because it is a sign of respect. You should also agree on what and how you are going to feed your children with regard to this matter.
- How prepared are we in facing a medical problem in the family? This is not just an issue of financial stability, but also how morally prepared you both to face an issue with health among your children or with your partner. What if you woke up one day and your partner confessed that he has a terminal stage of illness? Or your child is sick? Are you prepared to support them wholeheartedly?
- Do we have a genetic disease that our children may acquire? Make sure that before you open up this topic, your partner is open to talking about it. And you must be, in the first place. Because it’s not just your marriage which is at stake, but the lives of your kids.
- How are we going to make sure that we spend quality time with each other and with our family? One of the main reasons why couples break up is falling out of love. The root cause of this is not being able to spend much time with their partner, or worse, being satisfied with the usual. Be ready to make an effort in igniting the fire in times of coldness. Be innovative.
- Do we have issues in our personal lives that we need to workout first before getting married? This could mean as simple as laziness in doing the chores, up to the more complicated things like being addicted to gambling. Be truthful to your partner if you need more time to change and improve yourself. On the other hand, help your partner to improve himself if you see the willingness. Inspire him to change for himself and for your future.
- Are involved with each other’s long term plans? If you see yourself being a manager 5 years after and an owner of a business after another 5, and you don’t have any plans involving your partner; it’s too dangerous to get married to that kind of mindset. It is important that you both agree with each other’s long term goals and you see yourself spending the rest of your life with him/her. He/she needs to be involved in the blueprint and possibly the main character in the succeeding chapters of your life.
- How far are we willing to make each other happy? Happiness is a broad topic in this essence. Remember that being happy is equivalent to being fulfilled with your partner. If ever you see yourself being soaked up in the future because you think your partner is too possessive, talk about it and settle your issues.
- What are the disappointments that we have about each other? Is it still possible to remediate them? It pays to be transparent with your partner. If you think you both can adjust and eventually change for the better, then you can be a match made in heaven.
- Are we willing to promise to spice up our intimate moments for years or until the end? Let’s all face it; sex is a vital aspect of marriage. It can create a magical fire between couple even during the golden years. You should be willing to discuss this matter with your one and only.
- Are you willing to seek professional help in times of marriage problems? It may seem not a debatable issue, but there are times that when a person is not willing to consult a counselor, they just decide to let go. So, better settle this matter early.
- How are you going to resolve problems caused by issues inside the relationship? Or even matters brought about by outside matters? The source of the problem is not too important. What matters is how you both are willing to attack the problems and eventually resolve them, whether they are caused by loopholes in your perimeter or outside.
- How did your past relationships (technically failed relationships) change you? This is also important to talk about because there are times we tend to compare our current relationship with the past. Worse, we use it as a defense mechanism to prove that whatever you are experiencing now is completely not your fault. Learn to forget about your past and just take the moral of your previous experiences with you in your current commitment.
- How do we plan to establish a financially stable family? Because you and your partner will become one, your financial goals need to be parallel as well. Do not wait for the time that you will upbraid each other because of this issue.
- Are we willing to give our hundred percent trust and commitment to our vow? As the final question, look at your partner and ask how far can you give your respect, love, and trust to him/her?
There might be some questions that you are not comfortable to discuss with your partner, but again, it’s better to realize your differences before getting married than to be caught in a situation that you will just regret in the end.